I love this! Every year I feel like fostering community connection is the goal, but it is SO hard. Everyone wants a village, however, not many are prepared to put in the effort to maintain said village. We’ve tried monthly potluck bbqs, meeting most weekends at the local farmers market, beer brewing days etc etc and it all feels very one-sided most of the time. I love the concept of little and often for your skill sharing group
It is really hard! I've tried so many ideas over the years. For one, the group was too big and hard to manage in a volunteer capacity. For another, there wasn't enough buy-in from the group, and momentum was left up to me. Others just petered out because of life circumstances. But I think I've learned heaps from all of those experiences and I think it is worth it to keep trying new ideas.
Some things I've learned are that it's important to recognise what the right amount of people is for it to function well without getting overwhelming. Having a strong theme that binds everyone together is important, and setting some intentions and figuring out the values of the group from the start is also important, so everyone is on the same page. Just some thought at this stage that I'm practicing with a couple of groups. I'll let you know how it goes. 🧡
I feel very lucky that I live in one of those rural small communities where we are forced to build relationships with all different people, held together often by location, often with varied values, but still come together to support each other, as we did in the 2013 fires. After living in Darwin with a great community, when we moved to Sydney in the suburbs, I felt untethered, with no community. Moving home to Tassie and further out from the city certainly fixed that! I have always wondered how people in the cities manage to find communities.
I love what you're doing, but I wonder - when and how does someone in the community ask for help? Especially how.... Who will be the first, and how will they get over that? Do you have a plan or a shared mental model in the group to assist with this? I'm really interested in this, because I recognise in myself, that sometimes I don't even realise I need help, or how to ask for it. Crises are easy, but sometimes, the big crisis isn't the undoing of us, it's the repeated small things we don't even clock as mini-crises...
Thanks for commenting Kate! Yes, I feel you re: moving from the country to the city.
About asking for help: part of my idea is to build trust in a small group by meeting regularly and practicing helping each other in low-stakes ways. Like a bit of wedding here, sharing produce there. And over time, I'm hoping that the trust builds to a point that asking for help freely is part of the group's culture.
I totally agree that the small things can really un-do us, and the small things can come thick and fast without us realising we're burning out.
I'll let you know how it goes. It's all experimental for now.
I adore your blog Nat and have been meaning to comment - I believe I found my way here via Jane Hilliard's wonderful take on 'enoughness'. Thank you for creating such a cosy corner of the internet. I feel like I am tapping into some comforting Tassie magic each time I read or watch. 'Tis a balm for the nervous-system.
As someone who's worked in the online community space for 15+ years I am a firm believer that community is always the answer! It's been captured and echo'ed by many great folk. I love in this Happen Films piece from 2016 how Tom touches on having security through community not money (around 4:45). We've truly been separated from this model. I personally have always felt that money provided security and had an anxious attachment to it, especially during my single parenting days. To feel you could be held by the community, wasn't something I have been raised to consider or cultivate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsA4nHsynS0
Sarah Wilson's This Is Precious substack, Nate Hagens and others also talk about "pro-social" prepping. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YwCX13nZtc Like this video I have been saying yes to opportunities too. Yesterday I went along to a power-tools women's workshop and had a great time learning to use all sorts of saws. So yes, community is in my thoughts for 2025.
Thanks for introducing me to the Reskillience podcast, lots to feast on!
Thank you so much for your amazing comment. I really appreciate your thoughts and the time you took. And thank you for those recommendations. I love that Happen Films one, and I'll dive into the others. I have heard the term 'Pro-social prepping'.. I'll definitely check out what people are saying about it. I hope your 2025 is full of community connections. 🧡
I must admit in some cases pro-social prepping sounds a little nefarious.. or disingenuous at the least. I feel as we move further into crisis, especially if we're in a position of privilege, to look at how we can support our communities not the other way around! Although "anticipated reciprocity" has always been a driver of community participation, but again it sounds a little too pre-meditated at times!
Interesting... yea, sounds kind of tactical of something.
One of the big values for our prototype community group is for deep trust to evolve in the group over a long time span. In that, no one is keeping a record of who does what, and who isn't pulling their weight... because I think if we trust the other members deeply, we're also trusting that over a long time frame it'll all work out, and if it doesn't, that's ok. Everyone's capacity and ability are different.
I love this! Every year I feel like fostering community connection is the goal, but it is SO hard. Everyone wants a village, however, not many are prepared to put in the effort to maintain said village. We’ve tried monthly potluck bbqs, meeting most weekends at the local farmers market, beer brewing days etc etc and it all feels very one-sided most of the time. I love the concept of little and often for your skill sharing group
It is really hard! I've tried so many ideas over the years. For one, the group was too big and hard to manage in a volunteer capacity. For another, there wasn't enough buy-in from the group, and momentum was left up to me. Others just petered out because of life circumstances. But I think I've learned heaps from all of those experiences and I think it is worth it to keep trying new ideas.
Some things I've learned are that it's important to recognise what the right amount of people is for it to function well without getting overwhelming. Having a strong theme that binds everyone together is important, and setting some intentions and figuring out the values of the group from the start is also important, so everyone is on the same page. Just some thought at this stage that I'm practicing with a couple of groups. I'll let you know how it goes. 🧡
I feel very lucky that I live in one of those rural small communities where we are forced to build relationships with all different people, held together often by location, often with varied values, but still come together to support each other, as we did in the 2013 fires. After living in Darwin with a great community, when we moved to Sydney in the suburbs, I felt untethered, with no community. Moving home to Tassie and further out from the city certainly fixed that! I have always wondered how people in the cities manage to find communities.
I love what you're doing, but I wonder - when and how does someone in the community ask for help? Especially how.... Who will be the first, and how will they get over that? Do you have a plan or a shared mental model in the group to assist with this? I'm really interested in this, because I recognise in myself, that sometimes I don't even realise I need help, or how to ask for it. Crises are easy, but sometimes, the big crisis isn't the undoing of us, it's the repeated small things we don't even clock as mini-crises...
Thanks for commenting Kate! Yes, I feel you re: moving from the country to the city.
About asking for help: part of my idea is to build trust in a small group by meeting regularly and practicing helping each other in low-stakes ways. Like a bit of wedding here, sharing produce there. And over time, I'm hoping that the trust builds to a point that asking for help freely is part of the group's culture.
I totally agree that the small things can really un-do us, and the small things can come thick and fast without us realising we're burning out.
I'll let you know how it goes. It's all experimental for now.
I adore your blog Nat and have been meaning to comment - I believe I found my way here via Jane Hilliard's wonderful take on 'enoughness'. Thank you for creating such a cosy corner of the internet. I feel like I am tapping into some comforting Tassie magic each time I read or watch. 'Tis a balm for the nervous-system.
As someone who's worked in the online community space for 15+ years I am a firm believer that community is always the answer! It's been captured and echo'ed by many great folk. I love in this Happen Films piece from 2016 how Tom touches on having security through community not money (around 4:45). We've truly been separated from this model. I personally have always felt that money provided security and had an anxious attachment to it, especially during my single parenting days. To feel you could be held by the community, wasn't something I have been raised to consider or cultivate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsA4nHsynS0
Sarah Wilson's This Is Precious substack, Nate Hagens and others also talk about "pro-social" prepping. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YwCX13nZtc Like this video I have been saying yes to opportunities too. Yesterday I went along to a power-tools women's workshop and had a great time learning to use all sorts of saws. So yes, community is in my thoughts for 2025.
Thanks for introducing me to the Reskillience podcast, lots to feast on!
Thank you so much for your amazing comment. I really appreciate your thoughts and the time you took. And thank you for those recommendations. I love that Happen Films one, and I'll dive into the others. I have heard the term 'Pro-social prepping'.. I'll definitely check out what people are saying about it. I hope your 2025 is full of community connections. 🧡
I must admit in some cases pro-social prepping sounds a little nefarious.. or disingenuous at the least. I feel as we move further into crisis, especially if we're in a position of privilege, to look at how we can support our communities not the other way around! Although "anticipated reciprocity" has always been a driver of community participation, but again it sounds a little too pre-meditated at times!
Interesting... yea, sounds kind of tactical of something.
One of the big values for our prototype community group is for deep trust to evolve in the group over a long time span. In that, no one is keeping a record of who does what, and who isn't pulling their weight... because I think if we trust the other members deeply, we're also trusting that over a long time frame it'll all work out, and if it doesn't, that's ok. Everyone's capacity and ability are different.